FunkTron
07-06-2005, 01:19 AM
:eek:
A MOTHER PASSING BY HER DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN SHE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON
THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED, "MOM"
WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, SHE OPENED THE ENVELOPE
AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
DEAR MOM,
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING
THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH DAD AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BOBBY AND HE
IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HIS PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HIS TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.
BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD - IM PREGNANT AND BOBBY ASSURES ME THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HIM SINCE HE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, HE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. HE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND
THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.
BOBBY TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HIS FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE NEED.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO THAT BOBBY CAN GET BETTER; HE SURE DESERVES IT!! DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'M 13 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
YOUR DAUGHTER,
MARY
P.S. MOM, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT KATHY'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.
I LOVE YOU!
PS:CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME
A MOTHER PASSING BY HER DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN SHE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON
THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED, "MOM"
WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, SHE OPENED THE ENVELOPE
AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
DEAR MOM,
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING
THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH DAD AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BOBBY AND HE
IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HIS PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HIS TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.
BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD - IM PREGNANT AND BOBBY ASSURES ME THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HIM SINCE HE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, HE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. HE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND
THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.
BOBBY TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HIS FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE NEED.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO THAT BOBBY CAN GET BETTER; HE SURE DESERVES IT!! DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'M 13 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
YOUR DAUGHTER,
MARY
P.S. MOM, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT KATHY'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.
I LOVE YOU!
PS:CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME