Advice from our government

[FINA4]

The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov to help the public in case of a terrorist attack. The funny thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations. The ones at the end are pretty good...

http://images9.fotki.com/v188/photos/3/368891/1773059/1-vi.jpg
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

http://images9.fotki.com/v180/photos/3/368891/1773059/2-vi.jpg
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

http://images9.fotki.com/v180/photos/3/368891/1773059/3-vi.jpg
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

http://images9.fotki.com/v190/photos/3/368891/1773059/4-vi.jpg
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.

http://images9.fotki.com/v189/photos/3/368891/1773059/5-vi.jpg
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

http://images10.fotki.com/v201/photos/3/368891/1773059/6-vi.jpg
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

http://images9.fotki.com/v190/photos/3/368891/1773059/7-vi.jpg
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.

http://images9.fotki.com/v180/photos/3/368891/1773059/8-vi.jpg
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

http://images10.fotki.com/v202/photos/3/368891/1773059/9-vi.jpg
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

http://images10.fotki.com/v202/photos/3/368891/1773059/10-vi.jpg
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

http://images9.fotki.com/v190/photos/3/368891/1773059/11-vi.jpg
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile

http://images9.fotki.com/v189/photos/3/368891/1773059/12-vi.jpg
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

http://images9.fotki.com/v187/photos/3/368891/1773059/13-vi.jpg
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

http://images9.fotki.com/v189/photos/3/368891/1773059/14-vi.jpg
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

http://images9.fotki.com/v189/photos/3/368891/1773059/15-vi.jpg
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

http://images10.fotki.com/v202/photos/3/368891/1773059/16-vi.jpg
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

http://images9.fotki.com/v182/photos/3/368891/1773059/17-vi.jpg
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

http://images9.fotki.com/v188/photos/3/368891/1773059/18-vi.jpg
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

http://images9.fotki.com/v188/photos/3/368891/1773059/19-vi.jpg
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

http://images9.fotki.com/v182/photos/3/368891/1773059/20-vi.jpg
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

[GTIblurr]

Awesome!!

Gotta love whoever made those for Uncle Sam.

[Troike]

hilarious .. i remember seeing a whole group of these last year some time, funniest thread ever.

[bugzy]

Why does this remind me of a B5 Avant

http://images9.fotki.com/v188/photos/3/368891/1773059/18-vi.jpg

[FunkTron]

why does this one remind me of Chris?
http://images9.fotki.com/v182/photos/3/368891/1773059/17-vi.jpg

[GTIblurr]

This is why Lon!:corn: